Blue Skies Here | Central Texas

Life Lessons

My son's school releases early each Wednesday to allow teachers to prepare and train. With that, I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to take a couple of hours to give back. So my son and I came up with some choices about what we could do: we could volunteer at a local donation center - helping them organize donations; we could volunteer at the animal shelter - walking dogs or playing with cats; or we could volunteer at an assisted living facility.

His choice?? "Let's volunteer at the assisted living center!"

Interesting, and not what I expected from a 9-year old boy. But - then again, do our children ever do exactly what we think they're going to do? You'd think I'd have learned by now. I had some trepidations - 9-year old boys can be boisterous - and can sometimes say things off-the-cuff that might not be appreciated by folks of a certain age. But, he'd made his decision. So I explained to him that he would need to be patient and careful - some of these folks might be in poor health. I also explained that they might not remember everything - and might smell different...

He rolled his eyes, "Mom, I know."

Okay.... So, each Wednesday from 1-3 we now get together with residents at a local assisted living home. We usually play games - the favorites are dominoes or Skip-Bo. At first the people working there thought we were a little odd - not a lot of 9-year old boys want to volunteer there apparently when they don't have a family member in residence. But now, they've gotten used to us - and we're just one of the gang.

My son holds court with the ladies - he remembers each of their names, helps them with walkers, is patient if they fall asleep during the game, never comments inappropriately, and always greets the others walking by. The first time we went and played, I knew we'd made the right connection. We were playing dominoes and one of the ladies was keeping score. Well, her math was a bit off - and in the end she "won." In actuality - my son won. But he didn't say a word.

On the way out the home that day I said, "What did you think?"

"It was good, Mom. I really enjoyed it. Can't wait to go back!"

"You know, I noticed that you actually won that game...."

"I know, Mom. But I really felt that Ann needed a win more than I did."

Sigh. In these moments my heart fills. From then on out, I decided that he should keep score - and make more of the decisions.

Ways to Reward Your Kids' Good Grades

I saw this article in Family Circle and thought it worth sharing. When your kids bring home good grades - there are a number of area companies that will give them rewards - from Pizza to Movie Rentals to Donuts to Insurance Breaks. Check it out!

http://www.familycircle.com/family-fun/money/freebies-and-deals-for-students/

I is for....

While trying to keep my kids occupied in the car while DH was finishing packing for our beach trip - thought I'd come up with a little game (distraction!!!). The object was to go through the alphabet, each of us to come up with a word with a beach theme for each letter. And so it started with my son. "A is for activity." My four-year old daughter: "B is for Beach Ball." It went round and round - and then my daughter got "I." "I is for...Illegal." Hmmmm. Must take after my husband's side of the family. Should be an interesting trip. ;)

School System...

My husband and I have been talking a lot about the inadequacies of the public school "system."  How teachers have what appears to be standardized testing-driven structure and little authority to vary their approach.  Instead, they must preach from the regimen.  I am not blaming teachers or educators - I am a huge supporter of them and have incredible respect for their mission...I just think that the system needs a look.

Additionally, I am challenged by the inability in today's classroom set-up to fully appreciate differences in thinking, approach, response and experience to educational subject matter.  It's tough as a parent - you want your kid to "fit in," as it's easier socially.  That said, I also want them to be problem-solvers and not be completely stifled.

I remember growing up in the 70s.  Both my husband and I had the opportunity to participate in the REACH program in elementary school (in Richardson, Tx).  It was my saving grace.  One day a week I went to another school and spent the whole day thinking - following my passions.  Whether it was science or reading, learning French or doing logic problems.  I cannot say how terrific this program was - and how much it impacted who I have become.  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could bring a program like this to all...

Husband found the following link - shared it with me - I thought it worth passing along.  Not sure what to do with the information - but find the information compelling.  Lots of "aha's" but not much on how we go forward and change.

What do you think?

http://www.wimp.com/educationparadigms/

Decision Making

Recently my son decided to throw his hat into the ring for third grade Student Council Representative.  On his application, he was asked to let the panel know why he'd make a terrific representative.  We were discussing the attributes he had that would make him a good choice...

"I'm pretty smart, I think I'll write that.  But I don't want to say 'very smart'...that's bragging."

"Sounds good to me," I replied.

"I like to listed to other people's ideas.  That's a good one!"

"Perfect," I said.

"I'm a good leader - don't you think?"

"Yes, dear.  You are.  What about 'I'm a good decision-maker?" I offered.

"Ummm.  No.  There are a lot of times I make terrible decisions, Mom.   You know that.  It would be an awful idea for me to write that.  It's just not true.  I make 'okay' decisions most of the time.  Not great ones."

More perspective from my 7-year old

I recently went on a trip to CA to visit a seriously ill relative.  We were not sure if she was going to make it - but she's hung on...  This trip made a significant impression on my son - as life and death are certainly weighty subjects for the 7-year old set.  Ever since returning - he's been asking about his great-grandmother.  Here was last night's exchange:

"Mom.  Is grandma doing okay?"

"She's doing as well as can be expected."

"Is she going to get better?"

"I don't know, honey.  What I do know is that she's doing the very best that she can."

"What is it that she has again?"

"Cancer, honey."

"That doesn't sound so bad," then looking me directly in the eyes...  "She's going to make it.  I can feel it."

Love my boy.

They ARE paying attention

Hello Moms and Dads out there.  In today's "short attention span theater" approach to communications - ever feel like you kids are paying ZERO heed to what you're saying?  I have some proof that, in fact, they occasionally are...

Recently took both kids to the grocery store.  The latest push for freedom: my seven-year old wants to head off and gather an item on his own and bring it back to me.  Okay - I'll play.  So I'll select an item that's in the vicinity of where I am - or where I'm heading - and he'll fetch.  After successfully completing a few items, he was ready for more.  So I said, "Okay - let's see how you do with this one...  I want you and your sister (age 3) to go and select your cereal for the week.  I want you to agree on your decision and make a good choice.  Hold hands.  Stay together."  And sent them over to the next aisle (where I could see/hear them).

After about 5 minutes, they returned.  Seven-year old reported back as official spokesperson:

"Mom.  We really want this new Cupcake Pebbles cereal - however, we read the label and noticed that the sugar was much higher than you would want.  But we REALLY wanted it.  So here it is.  BUT, we then searched for the cereal with the lowest sugar content we could find (handed over the Corn Flakes).  We thought that if you mixed the two together for us that would be a good compromise.  Can we have both?"

I couldn't argue with this.  And also couldn't help laughing a bit under my breath at the pitch as his little sister stood there nodding vigorously her approval.

Though outwardly silent - my voice inside was screaming... "HOLY CATS!  They are actually listening and paying attention.  Sometimes."

Score one for Mom.

To the Moon We Go

Whole family was in the car the other day coming back from a dinner out....  It had been a long day, and our three-year old was beginning to...how shall I say...drive us batty.

Counting the minutes until I could get her home and in bed as quickly as possible: two second face wash and one second teeth-brushing, promising I'd do a better job tomorrow - a voice from the backseat interrupts my thoughts.

"Where are we going, Mommy?"

In no mood, I respond, "To the moon."

"Okay."

That was it.  No jaded banter like I'd get from my "very worldly" seven-year old - like "Right, Mom.  Sure.  To the moon.  After we head to Jupiter can we have dessert with the aliens...  Ha ha.  Seriously. Where are we going?"

Nope, the three-year old still trusts implicitly that I have her best interests at heart.  And if it's to the moon, then that's fine with her. 

"Okay."  It was echoing in my mind.

My annoyance with her faded quickly as I realized that these days are fleeting.  Soon, she'd have a sarcastic response appropriate to my initial sarcastic answer.

When we got home, I gave her a big hug and kiss - and made sure her teeth were very clean, her face was scrubbed fresh, and she got to hear her favorite bedtime story.

Happy Birthday Darling Girl (Darth Viper)

Today is always such a reminder of hope for me - as I celebrate the 3rd birthday of my sweet daughter.  She is the child I never thought I'd have...brought to me out of a relationship I'd never anticipated.  Makes me teary-eyed when I consider the blessing.

My Viper is sweet, scheming, funny, bright, quirky, effervescent, clever, and silly.  She equally adores pink fluffy icing and "spider chasing" in our yard.  She wears her ballet shoes to jump into the rainy afternoon's mud puddles.  Though refusing to have her hair brushed, she demands to wear her princess dress when we go out.  She's the loveliest mishmash of contradiction and complexity. 

Happiest of birthdays to my wonderful girl.  Your mommy is so excited that you're in her life...

Financial Perspective of the 7-Year Old

A recent conversation with my son about his not-quite-3-year old sister.

"Mom, come here." (said urgently) "Sit down.  I need to talk with you.  It's important."

"Sure, hon.  (concerned Mom...) What's going on?"

"It's about my sister.  I think that in the future, when she does something good - you should think about giving her money."

"Okay...why?"

"Well, I went in her room today.  And she has no bank.  No nothing.  She's BROKE, Mom.  BROKE!"

Later I went in to find that my son had taken some of his savings (about $.78, mostly pennies) and put it on his sister's dresser.  After seeing this - I went out and got her a little bank.  Not sure what my son thinks that his sister is going to do with this money - but couldn't resist supporting his "cause."